We let our chickens have free run of our property now that the dogs leave them alone. Yesterday a coyote came to the other side of the fence on got everyone in a dither. Sick me was trying to relax on the porch, but they all moved in closer to the house and squawked like mad, for a few hours. Then one ate the egg of another and I started to lose my cool. I begged my son running off to church to corral them back into the hen house far away in the corner. “My ride is waiting!” followed by my pathetic “OK just go then”. The ride waited, the son chased chickens, and the subsequent peace was as wonderful as a savory piece of dark chocolate with nuts and dried fruit. Granted everything ached, but its embarrassing how easily I lost control of my well- honed maturity, over chickens!
When you are stripped a bit, of your glory, your strength, your peace, whatever, I’m experiencing just a taste of how easy it is to lose a grip on joy. I don’t mean party party fun fun, but that joy that keeps us feeling balanced and hopeful and moving ahead in our “groove”. Balanced. My faith can get out of balance too. To me faith is like air, its what keeps me alive, it gives me a reason for being here, it gives me hope for what comes next and that makes now doable. So faith out of balance throws everything off for me, just like chickens can. I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately of some people I really care about who are tired. Bodies, hope, faith, tired. We never plan to be worn out or wrung dry, rather we envision our heart felt hopes coming to life like a movie with ourselves in the leading role, a good movie! The turns life takes can be quite a surprise. Do you understand God’s ways? I often don’t. That’s why I was so captivated today by Psalms 1.
I like to read the bible with a journal in my other hand and I ask LOTS of questions. This one is about being blessed, feeling blessed, living a blessed life. I want that, and I want it for the people I love too! A person who is blessed will meditate on God’s law and strive to live it. Yikes, that takes time. Then he/she will bear fruit in the right season. Plums are ripe right now, as sweet as sugar, beautiful even to look at, but my fig tree is covered with hard little green figs which are definitely not ready to eat. There is a season for fruit, and it isn’t every season. So its ok to feel tired, to see nothing come to fruition that you hope for, to feel off track or sidelined? I suppose so! That gives me grace, breathing room to sit around with no hair, to be frozen and to be out of season.
“Whose leaf shall not wither”…I also have some orange trees whose leaves are curling in on themselves. That means we need to turn on the water and soak the roots. A blessed person who meditates and lives by God’s laws may not look like they are fruitful when it is not their season for fruit, but their roots are planted by a river of water so their leaves never dry out in a pre death wither no matter what the season, unlike the Chassen orange trees at this moment. The water where I live is expensive and has to be turned on, but this blessed person who meditates on and lives by God’s law is rooted next to a continual river of water that keeps them spiritually alive.
The kicker for me today was, “And whatever he/she does will prosper.” An immediate question in the journal, “Do you mean prosper financially?” Prosper in what, and how? Let’s see, God Himself found money in the belly of a fish when He needed it to pay the temple taxes, but other than that it seems that what He needed to live was supplied daily, not accumulated in store houses or bank accounts. Looking at His life, He prospered in fulfilling His Father’s will for His life. Do we set out to conquer the Roman empire and end up somewhere much less awe inspiring? What if keeping your faith in adversity by accepting what you cannot change, choosing humility rather than bitterness, loving more today than yesterday because you nurtured a maturity that enables you to just keep doing it, …what if that means you have prospered in all that you do?
Jesus asked His close companion and disciple Peter, “Peter, do you love (agapan) Me?” One translator rephrased it for understanding this way, “Do you love Me because I am precious to you, with a sacrificial love which would make you willing to die for me?” He actually asked Peter three times in a row but got only this answer, “Yes Lord, You know I am fond of (philein) You;”. or “I have an affection for You because of the pleasure I take in You. ” Perhaps suffering or disappointment is a completely unique, one of a kind place, with death tangibly present and pleasure painfully absent, where we can give the answer to Jesus that He longs to hear from us. Perhaps this is what it means to prosper in all that we do.
Can I embrace suffering for how it prospers? It’s a good question, and I think that finding the correct answer can restore balance to a day, a year, or even a life where joy has slipped away.
John 21:15
Justabiding 